Fraidachini Afraid-O

{{NSFW}}
It all started at that one random dinner party that I went to with my pretend friends who really didn't wanna be there, along with that girl who hates you, and that one creepy dude you always feel will back-stab you.
So we heard this new itallion dinner place that opened a week ago, called "Creepy Macoroni"...or something along the lines of "Thr haunted mask" or something like that.
So we sat down, the waitress told me the special for today. It was "Fraidachini Alfredo", and I got REALLY SCARED, and there was skeleton that popped out of the bathroom, but it WAS TOTALLY my imagination. So I talked to the girl, and it was akward becuz the jerky backstab guy wanted here to be his GF and so CLIMAX!!!11!!
I got really scared again and said "a mans gotta do wut he duz" and went to the men's room. I got really nervous and twichy when I saw a laptop with minecraft on. So I got onto it, and an endermen was waving at me, and it SCARED ME. And guess what happened when I looked into the mirror? A CREEPY **** STARING AT ME. It was literally a chunk of fecel matter with hot red eyes! I stammered like a baby and said "W-w-w-w-w-w-h-h-h-OOOOO are YOUUUUU?!?" and it said "I AM POOP. I WATCH YOU WHILE YOU SLEEP. I COME OUT OF UR BUTT, FEAR ME!!!" I screamed as some guy casually walked past me while zipping up his pants. It got akward.
So then, I NEVER PLAYED MINECRAFT AGAIN. IT CURSED ME WITH POOP. So I tried to leave before that back-stabbing jerk came out of the door flailing a butterfly knife saying "You were a nice guy, bob. But now you die at the hands of teh GODZ. So I ran, back to the table and said to meh "friends" LETS LEAVE EARLY" Even though I didnt have my pasta yet.
Soon, The waitress gave our food, and mine looked like intestins with gore sauce. I ate it, and something happened...I WISH I NEVER TOOK THAT BITE AND WILL REMEMBER IT TILL I DYE. I threw up and quickly wrote a note that said "DIE BEFORE YOU EAT". It turned out I was fine, until the piece of poo flew out of nowhere, spreading feces on people's food. They got mad. The people ate the poo, and ripped eachotther's limbs to shreds. Then they fell to the floor and tried not to sleep for sum reason. Luckily, a chef walked out of the kitchen holding a biguette and a folding-stock macine gun. He was about to fire when his chest was ripped open by the skeleton. AHHHHH! I yelled. "IM REALLY SCARED RIGHT NAO!" I yealled. The room fell silent, and everyone, including the Creepy S**** staring at me from the mirror.
This gave me th3 chance to break for it. I sprinted while dialing my mom to pick me up. She drove and asked me what I ate. I said "Fraidachini Afraido" and meh mom got scared. She says "Ur muving with ur uncle and your uncle and belair.